Thinking the Worst Versus Thinking the Best

Pride tends to think the worst of others, and that is exactly what I did. I thought the worst of someone. This morning was a good reminder not to think badly of others, but to instead think the best. Especially, if I don’t have full knowledge of why the person did what they did. My belief that assumptions are not beneficial is becoming increasingly affirmed. Dr. Halstead has so kindly let many students from the Master’s College stay at his house rent free. He has been living in India for the past six months and Santa Clarita will be happy and blessed to have him back this Friday! Some people thought it would be wonderful to do a thorough cleaning of the house before he gets back. There has been so many people that have been in-and-out of the house since he has been gone, so the house definitely needed some good Clorox ,Windex, and Mr. Clean. An email was sent to the people who have lived in the house this Fall asking if any one would be available to help clean today. Some replied with an unfortunate decline, because they are out-of-state for the holidays visiting their families. I was the only one that said I would be able to do it. One of my roommates who is still living in the house never responded to the email, and actually left the house for the afternoon just an hour before our set time to clean. The cleaning idea actually came from a roommate who has already moved out of the house, so when she arrived for us to start cleaning I was the only one at the house. I started to think bad thoughts to myself about my “Non-communicative roommate”: “Why did she leave?” "How clever to have left just an hour before it was time to start cleaning!" “She just didn’t want to clean, so she left!” “...How lazy” “...Where is the love?” “She has been blessed with the opportunity to stay at the house, and it doesn’t even seem like she is thankful!” My pride was already puffed up because I was the only one who said they would be able to do it, and the funny thing was that I was only able to help for a couple of hours. When I got home from work today I learned a really good lesson I hope to remember. I found out that my roommate who had left for the day never got the email, because her computer crashed. She was actually really bummed that she did not know about our cleaning extravaganza, and helped out as much as she could as soon as she got home. Some dark specks in my heart became darker as I realized I didn’t mention it to her. I had forgotten that her computer crashed and I assumed that she was ignoring the situation and didn’t want to take part. I thought the worst. The truth was that she was willing, but simply did not know about it. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says that we are to encourage one another and build each other up. How can I encourage others and build others up, if I assume in such situations and think the worst of them? Reality check! Am I thinking badly of other people in my life? Am I making assumptions based on my ignorance? How am I encouraging others, thinking the best of them, and building them up? I don’t think loving others more than myself includes thinking badly of them. Instead, I should be thinking the best and wait until I get the opportunity to communicate to get more information if I am ever in question. Answering a question with an assumption, is no answer at all… it is an assumption. I Praise my Father in Heaven for this reminder and for eyes that see! He cares so much for His children!

Step One (Check), Step Two (Check), Step.. Three?

Today I was driving through a desolate desert full of cactus that were covered in snow on a two way highway, and the majority of the trip I could barely see through my windshield. There were many puddles from the melting snow and a truck in front of me that splashed muddy water onto my windshield. I could barely see what was right in front of me; that is how life is much of the time. I usually feel like my future is really foggy and I can make some plans, but there is no guarantee. My future is held in the hands of God and some times I plan my ways, but God makes my paths straighter and what happens wasn’t exactly what I had planned or thought would be best, thus I am usually humbled by God’s unfolding plan that is much greater. When I was driving with that splashed up window I thought about how many times God leaves things foggy and doesn’t give me much direction on His plan, it is those times when I really have to trust him. When I do not trust God, it is me thinking my ways are better; the thought of that is really offensive. How can I think that? The feeling I get when I think about that really offensive statement makes me want to trust God even though I do not know what He is going to do with all of these desires, passions, and ideas I have. My window got really dirty yesterday too, and when I had to drive a few miles across town I could not see, everything was blurred. However, my Dad cleaned it for me this morning and I could see perfectly fine out the window, and then it got dirty again on my way back to Santa Clarita today near the beginning of the trip. This happens too; sometimes God makes things really clear for a while and the desires in my heart seem to match His, doors open, and opportunities come. Then, after that next step is taken, it usually gets a little foggy again. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” If the Lord establishes my steps, what makes me think He is going to establish step five when He is barely establishing step two? It is good to look forward, but not if I am being anxious about it. I wouldn’t want to overlook an opportunity right here, right now, because I am so caught up in trying to figure out what is next to come. Sometimes I loose my sensitivity to the needs of others, because I am looking past them to the blurry future that is not yet here. God has the power to reveal steps three, four, and five, when I am barely taking step two, if that would glorify Him best, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, it is a person not knowing the next step, but taking it by faith, that glorifies Him most! There is something more exciting to me about stepping into the not so clear ocean, than stepping into a clear freshly chlorinated swimming pool. Lord, may your Glory be made known in which ever way is Best!

First Day at the Senior Center

I am bound to get old, which is what I was reminded of today while doing community service. This summer I ran a red light and instead of paying for the $420.00 ticket I decided to pay for it with my time by doing community service. Today was my first day serving and initially it was overwhelming to walk into a cafeteria full of very social seniors. There was an old man playing the piano with an upright bass guitarist accompanying him. Some of the seniors were daring enough to get up and dance a little, while others remained in their seats with a joyful clap that went with the beat. I got to serve by picking up their trays when they were finished, cleaning them off, throwing their trash away, and putting everything on the appropriate carts so they can be taken to the kitchen to be washed. I got to talk with some of the seniors here and there. Some asked why I was doing community service. A retired lawyer told me he would represent me in front of the judge so that I would not have to spend my time doing 51 hours of community service. I took his tray when he was finished and thanked him for his offer. What stuck out the most was talking to a man named, Richard. Richard chimed in and said, “Okay, why are you here? What did you do wrong?” My mindless response was, "volunteering." Richard was surprised and said, “Really, just volunteering?!” I clarified and told him that I was doing community service. He replied quickly, “Oh, so why did you say volunteering, are you ashamed of your past? ..Ashamed of your wickedness?” I wondered if he was a Christian, so I asked, and he said that he is an active member of an atheist club here in town. He said that he doesn’t believe in anything, but supports science and evolution, until someone proves it wrong and comes up with some other explanation. I asked him what his perspective is about life and he didn’t have much of a response. I said, “So, do you think that life just happens and then it is over?” And he said, “Yes.” He was a very nice man, but a man with no faith; a man who is blind and sees no glory. What was striking to me is that the issue that causes much Unbelief in his mind is his questioning of how Noah was able to fit all of the animals on the ark. It was so striking because that is the same issue that brings unbelief to Katie; the eleven year old girl that I nanny five days a week. An eleven year old and an eighty year old questioning the same issue regarding Noah’s ark was eye opening. They both have the ability to comprehend, but they both have the same question of unbelief, and it is God that has to open their eyes. Richard said that he is there every Tuesday, so hopefully we will get to continue our conversation then.

Being at the Senior Center and talking with an atheist got me thinking about eternity and what life will be like when I am old. Will I be hanging out in a similar cafeteria and socializing with other seniors to pass the time? I hope not! I don’t want to waste this life, not that they are. Maybe there are Christians who are purposeful about going their for their lunch with the purpose of being a light. But, I want to die running, maybe not physically, but spiritually. Retirement might result in me no longer working, because I am not fully capable of doing the job that I was once able to do. However, I do not want to be one who lets all of my life experiences and wisdom go to waste, while I enjoy leisure. Life through my eyes will always consist of working for Christ, and I look forward to all of the life experiences and wisdom I will get to share with others, if it is the Lord’s will for me to reach old age.

I am thinking that I am going to be learning more than I thought working and interacting with these seniors. Two and a half hours of Community Service down and 48 ½ to go!

Alluring Puddles

Today I woke up to the sound of rain as I heard it out my window. When I looked out the front door I was drawn to the beauty found in the splashes of ocean that covered the streets. On my way to work today I drove through these puddles and splashes and suddenly found my self spinning a 180 as the car turned too sharply. In that moment I was reminded of two things: Repentance and Eternity.

I remembered what I thought about those puddles at the start of my day: beautiful, alluring, and inviting. But after the water that once reflected the sky was brown on my windshield I realized that it didn’t offer much of what it initially enticed. The puddles that I once thought were beautiful, alluring, and inviting were now seen as deceiving. The fact that my car spun a 180 reminded me of repentance, because that is what repentance is; a complete turn away from sin to the other direction. The puddles by no means are sinful, or causing me to sin, but there are so many times that I am enticed by tempting things that promise happiness and satisfaction, but once I indulge I realize that it was a lie, and what I once thought would make me happy offers none of the beauty that it promised. The only one who offers true happiness and satisfaction is God, and the only reason I ever experience happiness and satisfaction is because of God. I am encouraged by John Piper’s statement about sin, “We sin because it holds out some promise of happiness. That promise enslaves us until we believe that God is more to be desired than life itself." When I am tempted to believe the lie that sinning would be more satisfying, I want to remember the little lesson I learned today about the puddles: it looks beautiful, but it is really just an illusion that in reality is full of toxins. Sin is Toxic to my soul!

After I did that 180 and my car was stopped with one of my front wheels up on the center divider, I looked out in front of me and laughed as there was about a dozen cars that saw the whole thing. Not a single car moved, and there was no facial expression seen on their faces. They all watched me as I reversed to drive my car off of the curb and then turned around to continue my way to work. Once I was back on track I was so thankful that the Lord protected me and that there were no other cars around me that I could have hit. I was reminded of how short life is and that if the Lord wills; the next minute, hour, or day could be my last on earth. I look forward to being with the Lord and the thought of dying doesn’t scare me, but I know that I never want to live in eternity regretting a wasted life and today’s little experience reminded me to live each day fully for God’s glory. As I drove away I had this desire to sit low in my seat, because I was a bit embaressed. When I approached the next red signal light the person in the car next to me just starred. The part of me wanted to sink low in my seat was amplified, but reminded me of the tendency I have when I sin and people see it, or even when I am afraid of repenting and seeking full reconcilliation because it hurts my pride. May I get over my self, stop looking in the mirror, start thinking about others, and how I can love them, because my mighty God loves me and I want others to experience His love through me! Fearing man would be a regret that I would have in eternity, because it so often keeps me from loving others, especially when that means loving them through seeking their forgiveness for how I have sinned against them. May I stop living in fear and live for Christ!

To sum it all up: I want to be more aware of the false “attractiveness” that sin allures and I want to live each day for Christ, because His time for me on earth is in His hands!

Charm and Beauty

..it is very beautiful, but this tree does not bear any fruit. Its looks can be deceiving, but it was given its name only because it has leaves that resemble the color found in plums. Proverbs 31:30 says, Cham is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” If charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, then charm and beauty are things that I shouldn’t be pursuing as much as I should be pursuing to be a woman who fears the Lord. Hebrew 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Charm and beauty is not itself sinful, but it can be an encumbrance, a weight, that makes running the race with endurance more difficult. However, it may become sinful if it becomes vain, or if it is used to deceive others. If charm and beauty can be an encumbrance, or even cause more temptation to sin, why do I pursue it so much? Sisters, lets pursue the things that cause us to Fear the Lord. Brothers, value the Fear of the Lord in your sisters, over their beauty. An Investor’s intent is to put their money in stocks that are going to grow in their value. What kind of beauty grows, and kind fades? Beauty can be found in a brand new car, but what happens to its value once it is driven off of the lot? Much of its value is lost. The value of a new car is temporary, and it will not last. I do not want that kind of beauty that does not last, and I’m tired of being distracted by its shine that fades. Not the distraction of an actual car, but the distraction of pursuing outward beauty with more might than the beauty found in the character that accompanies it. I pray that we will want what will last, rather than what is only temporary. The beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is imperishable in God’s eyes and considered precious in His sight, and that is what I should be pursuing. The desire to be like that new car that everyone wants, lusts after, and is eager to drive off of the lot needs to be put to death, so that I can run this race not only with endurance, but with my eyes fixed on Jesus!

John 15:2 “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”

Colossians 1:9-10 “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."

How the Journey Began: My Testimony

Once upon a time, I was like a shrub in the desert [Jeremiah 17:5-6]…

My sophomore year of high school I was at crossroads as I was trying to figure out what type of people I wanted to spend my time with. There was the crowd that was considered the “in crowd” and a crowd that lived their lives in a way that was different and not of this world. I saw some people in my life who were very close to me choose the in crowd; they went to all-night parties, experimented with drugs and alcohol, and eventually became addicted. As I saw the consequences of their choices, the path that included befriending those who were not of this world and were following Christ was a lot more appealing to me. I started going to the on-campus Christian Club and was invited to youth group. This was a turning point in which I began learning about God. I would go to church whenever I felt like it, for the purpose of being encouraged, and occasionally I would read and study my Bible. I got baptized before my Junior year of high school, because I had a fear that if I didn’t get baptized, I would go to hell. It wasn’t until I graduated high school that I committed to a church. I started to learn that some of my thinking about God was not correct. Getting baptized doesn’t save people, it is a proclamation in front of other believers that a person believes the Gospel and is a follower of Christ. During the time that I became committed and plugged into a church a new friend asked me to share my testimony with her and I didn’t know what to tell her. I had never been asked that question before. My pride heavily influenced me to make something up on the spot. I didn’t want anyone to question my so called salvation. As far as I could remember I thought I had always believed what I knew of Jesus; that He came to earth and was the Son of God, but deep inside I didn’t understand why God had to send Jesus to earth to die for my sins. I couldn’t see His glory yet. The reason I became friends with a group of Christians while in high school, was for the social network. Christians were people that lived the same way that I did, but the difference was that they lived their lives the way they did to glorify God. Their lives were fully surrendered to God. I lived morally because it was better for me, and there were areas of my life I still wanted to control and did not want to surrender to God. I found my identity in what I saw in the character of the Christians in my life, and not so much in Christ. My heart was hard on the inside. I read through the Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John during the beginning of my Junior year of College, which the Lord used in my life to amplify how much I didn’t understand the gospel. During that time is when I truly learned what it meant to fall short of the Glory of God. I am imperfect and could not fulfill His law. Consequently, that is why God sent Christ to fulfill His law. Christ not only fulfilled the law, but He took the penalty of my sins. I deserved to be punished, but Christ took my punishment, so that I could spend eternity with God, instead of apart from Him. I learned that righteousness is not earned, but comes from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ. I had faith and was humbled to see that my life was not my own, but was given to me by God, so that He may be glorified. God must love me so much to sacrifice His Son so that I may have full fellowship with Him one day. That was the turning point when I stopped living for myself and started living for God. I made the decision to stop swimming in Luke-warm water, and start running on the path that leads to the prize. Philippians 3:14 says, “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” I began to forget what had laid behind and started straining forward to the hope that was ahead. When I got out of the pool of Luke-warm water, I left every weight and sin that clinged so closely, and began running the race that was set before me. Had I not got out of that pool, I would have never been able to run, instead I would have drowned right where I was. I wasn’t living for God, I was living for myself. By God’s grace I started following Christ, but it wasn’t until then that I was able to count the false promises of my sin as loss. The surpassing worth of knowing Christ was so much more valuable than the sin that entangled me. Jesus was no longer just a part of my life, He was the point of my life. Now, when I stumble, I know that God is right there to offer me forgiveness for my sins and the grace to turn away from the false promises my sin would try to offer me. My satisfaction was found in Him, not my sin. In my life, I now see how God used those people who gave into the lie that what this world has to offer would find them happiness and satisfaction; He used it to show me how ugly sin is and how beautiful He is. He used my exposure to the morning after to protect me from ever desiring that and to instead desire Him and bring me to Himself. I was once dead in my trespasses and I am now alive in Christ, whi is the Son of my Creator. My motto for life can be found in Romans 11:36, “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever, Amen.” May my worship of God in all things that I do point others to Him, and may I never take credit and give all credit to where it is due, which to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

…Only by His grace am I like a tree planted by water [Jeremiah 17:7-8]!